I am a very impatient person.
And in and through out college I prayed for patients because, well, I need it.(and still do) But in praying for patience I have found that God has only given me 100x the opportunity to display patience. And I now recognize when they have come up and usually reflect and see that was a time of being patient not only with God but with the people.
I did a really bad job of being patient and understanding this morning but it was the morning! and what can you expect from someone who is not a morning person! I am not venting my dirty laundry for everyone but I want everyone to know my struggles, with getting up in the dark and being patient. It is hard for me to see past the current issue, and sadly since I am not patient I tend to get emotional very quickly. I can on some occasions be more patient and it is in these times I think it is God in me not myself. These are also times where I tend to say something amazingly loving and filled with His Spirit…so I am sure it is me submitting to Him and letting Him speak His words through me.
I have also found I am more patient with some than others. I guess that is human nature but is extremely frustrating when people think you hold them to a double standard. Which I try not to do but it feels like the inevitable.
All I ask is that you understand where I am coming from. I am frustrated not only with my lack of patience and love but with the tone and attitude that contributes to it.
By the way I have debated posting this more than any other post I have done. Tried to delete it a few times too.